May 21st

May 21^st is going to be a hard day for us.  It will be a lot like December 27^th was for us.  Anytime parents have to endure any sort of operation on their child, it’s just not easy.  Regardless of how simple or how quick the operation will be, it’s nothing short of torture.  There is so much anxiety involved in the entire process.  It’s easy to persuade your head that all will be fine but convincing your heart, that’s a whole ‘nother story. 

On December 27^th, Chandler had ear tubes put in.  The operation was incredibly simple and quick but the anesthesia…oh that was tough.  It was hard to see him lose control of his sense of awareness after they gave him a small dose of a relaxant, before they took him back.  Even harder, though, was seeing his little self incredibly uncomfortable and restlessly sleepy afterwards.  He was out of it and really very unhappy.  It was heartbreaking to watch and he could not come out of it fast enough for me. 

On May 21^st, my sweet little Cooper will be having a dermoid cyst above his right eye removed.  If the cyst were to be on you or me, it would be removed in the office of a maxillofacial doctor with only local anesthesia.  But because of his age and the sensitivity of the location of the cyst, he has to be sedated and this will be treated as day surgery.  I’m not too incredibly concerned about the actual surgery.  But, there is risk in anesthesia and we have all heard too many horror stories about the side effects of anesthesia for me to feel completely comfortable about that aspect of the surgery. 

Our doctor has reassured us that the cyst will most likely only grow larger and that it would be safe to go ahead and remove it so the tissue can be tested, just to make sure it isn't malignant.  I want to know what it is, of course.  As his Mommy, I can't just look at this thing everyday and continue to worry about what it really is.  Just the thought of letting something dangerous stay in my baby's body sickens me.  It is our job to protect him and keep him safe.  It is highly unlikely that the tissue will be malignant, thankfully.  My prayers tonight will be for those who have children that have to endure so much more than ear tubes and dermoid cysts.  I know how emotionally draining this has been and will be for us.  I can't even begin to imagine the physical, heart-wrenching, sickening pain associated with having a child who is battling a terminal illness or debilitating disease.  I pray that tonight, even if just for a moment, I can carry their burden for them.  I pray comfort for their hurting hearts.  And I pray for peace and healing for their sweet babies.  I can pray these things in His name knowing that there are so many willing and ready to pray these things for us if we ever needed them.  We serve a mighty God, my friends!  I know that my God's protective hands will be covering my baby on May 21st and everything is going to be fine.  I know that if He brings me to it, He plans to see me through it and because of this, I have faith all will be fine.

Giving 100%

TJ and I recently began the hunt for a new family vehicle. In effort to keep my post short (we shall see), I will spare you the details and just say that we love our current car; it’s been good to us. However, there are a few features that would certainly make life a little easier on me if our big, red boat had them. And, she’s getting up there in miles and we are in our car a lot and and and…. I had convinced myself, and TJ, that it was time to trade up. There was a problem, though. Despite paying extra every month, and placing a decent down payment on the ole Expedition, we were still upside down on it. So aggravating!! Well, I continued to look anyways and I finally came across the perfect vehicle for us. A 2010 Suburban. It was nice! More features than I needed but it had the features I so badly wanted to make my life easier. Lets face it. We are in our car a lot. I NEED this car. TJ WANTS this car. Lets do it.

Despite our negative equity on the Expedition, TJ and I decided we would just add to the good size down payment we already had saved up and set aside in order to negate that negative equity and we would go through with the deal. The dealer had the paperwork drawn up and he was going to deliver our new ride last week. But, I just couldn’t deny this tug I was feeling on my heartstrings.

See, TJ and I are big on good financial management and living a life where we control our money rather than feeling controlled by our money. As a college student and when I was first out on my own, I lived a life of debt and always felt like I was drowning. Don’t get me wrong; it wasn’t as bad as it felt like it was at the time. But, it was a stressful part of life for me. When I met TJ, he was the complete opposite. He was a money hoarder and saved diligently. So, because of his discipline, and the encouragement of a friend who lives a life of financial freedom, I changed my ways and I learned a lot!

Because I have spent the past years living a more disciplined life, I had this lingering, frustrating feeling deep in my heart about buying this Suburban. As badly as I WANTED this car, I couldn’t deny this hesitation I was feeling. I called TJ to talk it over with him and I quickly realized that that lingering feeling in my heart was the Lord’s way of revealing to me an area of my life that I needed to complete the reformation on. Our finances. We talk the talk and really believe in becoming debt free and we practice good financial management in most areas of our life but the one place we have not fully committed our beliefs is in our vehicles! Every two years, I have gotten a different vehicle. Which is perfectly fine…I am absolutely not criticizing those who do the same, because many do, and are accepting of having a car payment. And, I’m not completely against having a car payment, a very, very low one, for a very short amount of time. But I want to be debt free! We want to OWN our car!

We save up and pay cash for things we want (except for vehicles!). We wait until something is broken before we replace it and when we have to replace, we pay cash for it because we have a great safety net that we have saved up and set aside to be able to do that. We try hard to budget. We have paid off most of our debt, including my student loans, just leaving our mortgage and vehicle. I have really changed my ways and I am grateful. However, I believe that when we adopt a set of beliefs, whether it’s a reformation on our spending habits, a decision to live a healthier life, or accepting Christ, you really can’t do any of them half way. Yes, you can indulge on dessert at dinner every now and then but deciding to be healthier means you change multiple aspects of your life. Otherwise, don’t expect results. Same with our finances. Same with your walk with Christ. As a Christian, I have to apply my renewed spirit to my entire life. Every relationship, the words we say, the actions we do, the thoughts we think, the love we give….we are suppose to reflect the heart of Jesus. And yes, we fail. We all fail in many ways. And by His grace, we are forgiven and still saved. But our effort to apply our Godly hearts to every piece of our lives must be evident.

“The Lord your God commands you this day to follow these decrees and laws; carefully observe them with all your heart and with all your soul. You have declared this day that the Lord is your God and that you walk in obedience to him, that you will keep his decrees, commands and laws –that you will listen to him.” –Deuteronomy 26:16-17

We cannot buy that car. We believe in living a debt free life and while we are still working towards our goal, if we buy that Suburban, then we are not applying our financial beliefs and values to every part of our lives. We would be completely working against ourselves. We know better!! So, I have fallen back in love with my Expedition and have convinced myself that I will drive it for a little while longer, until it’s paid off, and we can feel the freedom that we know to exist with every debt you lose.

Sometimes the solution really is THAT easy

Here is my running list of various milks we have tried to get Chandler to drink:

Whole milk

2%

1%

Pre-flavored strawberry milk

Pre-flavored chocolate milk

2% flavored at home with strawberry syrup

2% flavored at home with chocolate

Whole milk flavored at home with lots of strawberry and the intentions of slowly lessoning the flavoring

Lactaid (a lactose free milk)

Soy milk

Vanilla flavored soy

Almond milk

Vanilla flavored almond milk

Coconut milk

Vanilla flavored coconut milk

I don’t know what it is about milk but I have just been determined to get Chandler to drink it. I grew up drinking it, lots of it, and I have never broken a bone in my body. I have convinced myself that milk is a necessity for a growing toddler, especially my boy, and that he MUST drink it. He needs some other fats, vitamins, and nutrients (via drinks) other than those supplied through 1/3 cup of juice each day and water! So, I have tried very hard to find a milk he will drink. Who knows how much money we have spent on these milks. When we try a new one, he does a terrible face and will not drink it or try it again later in the day. And we have repeated this process every few days with different milks for months. What’s a mom to do?!

Give the kids some cereal. Apparently THAT is what a mom is to do! Chandler will drink milk, if it’s had cereal in it first. He tips that bowl up and slurps away! Which, might I add, is the only way I will not drink milk. I hate leftover cereal milk. Obviously he likes how sweet it is but we have tried sweeter milks!!

Drink up baby boy! Looks like you'll have a bowl of cereal, heavy on the milk, every morning for the rest of your time under my roof!

And to finally finish my post from a few days...

A few remaining random pictures that recently found their way off my phone and onto my computer.....

My favorite, most recent, random moment captured on my phone!  Chandler always asks to hold Cooper so on this particular morning, I put Cooper in Chandler's little chair with him. They watched cartoons together for a good ten minutes.  Of course my TWO real cameras were dead so the moment had to be captured on my phone!

Chandler fussed and fussed at nap time at my parent's one day.  I finally went in to check on him and this is what I found!  I guess he was bored?!

The best picture of the year!  How incredibly perfect is this sweet little boy who is already trying to pee-pee in the potty (all his idea, too!).  And, for the record, he put the boots on.  I am impressed they are on the correct foot.

Nutella and crackers? Yes, please!

Sweet Cooper, right after his quick arrival into our world!

And I really do have lots of pictures of Cooper!  He is just sleeping in most of them and he is a baby..... that's not very random.  And, when he is awake, his eyes are always red in pictures, which keeps my busy editing them. 

Until the next time (probably in about a year) I take the time to upload the pictures off of my phone!