Waiting Like Hannah

I am incredibly blessed to be a part of a Bible Study with some neat women on Tuesdays.  We are studying 12 women in the Bible.  A few weeks ago, we studied Hannah.  Hannah was barren and was not blessed with a child until she finally turned her heart to God and prayed honestly and with her whole heart to Him for a child.  She had to wait to receive the Lord's blessing.  For years, He was preparing her and waiting for her to come back to Him.

Hannah's lesson so spoke to my heart.  Not in regards to being barren (since we are so blessed to be pregnant with baby number three!).  But, in PATIENCE.   It's easy to say, "Oh yeah, I trust in God to provide when the time is right," or "He will show us the when and the how when He is ready."  But, as I have said in a previous post before, making my heart fully understand what my head knows is not always the easiest thing to do.  It's easy to forget the amazing amount of trust and faith we are suppose to have in Him.  It requires effort to live fully trusting of His plan for us and to live with this indestructible, amazing faith in Him.  

We are trying really hard to move mack to Mertzon, the little town where we started our family and where we would like to raise our kids.  We love the people of Big Lake but we want the boys to be closer to my family and Mertzon is half way for all of us.  And, we want them to go to a small school and Mertzon is really, really small.  Plus, like I said, that is where we started our family.  We feel such a connection to the town, the people there, our church, it's just where we feel like we belong.  It's what we think we are suppose to do.  But the Lord has had other plans for our family!  One event after another has led us to have to sell our land (remember that 25 acres we were so excited to buy for our family?!) due to some development that will soon happen close to it.  So now we are back to square one.  No land to build on.  And, it has been difficult to find a good home to buy in Mertzon. Everything is WAY out of our price range or needs too much work. I am getting very anxious that the longer we wait, the harder it will be to find land or a house because of the oil boom moving that direction.  Maybe something will come available tomorrow.  Who knows?  Oh wait....He does.  And He is trying to teach me through this season of my life.  He is trying to make me grow and stretch in Him.  That lesson on Hannah opened my eyes and showed me this.  He isn't going to provide until we fully turn to Him and trust that He will provide when it is suppose to happen.  Maybe next week.  Maybe 5 years from now.  He is teaching me right now and I can't allow my desires to cloud my trust and faith in Him.  I think I know what is best for our family and I certainly have the desire in my heart to do one thing over another.  But, ultimately, I am not in control and I have. to. be. patient.

So, my prayer has changed.  It use to be, "PLEASE Lord give us a home in Mertzon.  Please give us some land to buy to build on."  It should be more like, "Lord, guide us.  Show us where we are suppose to be.  Wherever that is, please water us with your love and patience so that we may grow to be more like your Son.  Teach me to be more like Hannah and give myself completely to You.  And to trust you through the season of life and through what you have planned for us.  You will provide for us always. Amen.  Amen Amen Amen."