I hope that my mother-in-law can inspire you the way she has inspired me. She is the mother to my husband. She is the Nana to my babies. She is my constant reminder that life must be lived in the now, not the someday.
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Nana and Chandler |
Deborah has battled Multiple Sclerosis for 18 years. She became confined to a wheelchair in 2008. Her MS has been fairly static recently, having begun a new treatment about a year and a half ago, which has somewhat stalled the progression. And we are thankful.
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Nana holding Cooper Laine |
She has told me many times how this terrible disease has affected who she is and her future. And somehow, despite dealing with pretty extreme physical limitations and challenges, she maintains an extraordinary sense of happiness and simplicity about life. Years ago, prior to her diagnosis, she always looked forward to the "someday I'll....". Someday she would travel here or there, or enjoy this or that. She never expected to be burdened with such a life altering disease, though. And now, going here or there, or doing this or that, presents an entirely new set of challenges for her, if it's even doable (we haven't met a challenge yet that we haven't been able to handle!). However, I can say that I have never witnessed endurance, forgiveness and acceptance like I have in this woman. I cannot say I haven't ever heard her cry about the limitations this disease puts on her, because I have. We have cried many tears together. But each time she gets down, we cry, we laugh and she moves on. And it makes my pity party over my sore feet seem quite petty. She deals with soreness every single day. She deals with issues far too personal to write about; issues that none of us want to battle at any point in our lives. And she has dealt with them for years. Her strength leaves me speechless (doesn't happen often, folks) more times than not. If I can become half the woman she is, I will be blessed. I know her in ways not many daughters-in-law can say they know their mother-in-law. And I wouldn't change a thing. I certainly can't complain. I got a good one!
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Riding a horse for the first time in over 15 years |
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Crazy ladies in Vegas |
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My mom and Deborah, celebrating Deborah's birthday |
As I type, I cry, because I want to share the one thing that I think we can all learn from Deborah. The one aspect of her life that she does have some anger about, is how her disease will impact her relationship with her grandchildren. She wishes she could teach Chandler how to skip. She wants so badly to get on the floor and play trucks with Cooper. But she can't. We can get her to Vegas and up in the mountains at South lake Tahoe but she can't skip down her sidewalk with her grand-babies. And that hurts her heart. And it hurts mine too. She is a fantastic grandmother in many, many ways, though, thoroughly enjoying her grandchildren every chance she gets. But, my friends, I skip. I skip a lot. And we play on the floor a lot. We run. We jump. And I am so silly with my boys. Because if she had known then, what her life would be like now, I know she would have skipped more. We just do not know what life has in store for us. I really do live by that old adage, "Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow, for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs; dust, go to sleep. I'm rocking my babies and babies don't keep." The Lord uses the people in our lives to teach us and boy has He used Deborah in mine. I do skip more. And I try really hard not to live in the somedays and make life as enjoyable as I can from day to day.
Absolutely beautiful!
ReplyDeleteThank you! Miss you guys! Hope all is well.
ReplyDeleteAshley, I often read things and look at pictures but rarely do I comment. I just want to let you know that I know that she would have done everyone of those things with the kidos if she could. Aunt Deborah (and Uncle Tommy) are two of not only mine but Jackie's favorites. We love them with all our hearts even if we don't get around much. Take good care of her and those kidos. I think you are doing an amazing job. TJ diffently got a good one in you and he is one guy that deserved it.
ReplyDeleteTish, what sweet, touching words that I really appreciate. I really can't tell you how much they mean! Thank you. Hope to see you soon. Take care!
DeleteGreat story. I agree with you 100%, smell the roses while you can, housework can wait. What an inspiration your mother-in-law is.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!
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