I Hear You

To say the last few weeks have been a struggle for me, would probably be an understatement. I have been struggling through some of the most daunting, frustrating and painful feelings I have ever felt.  Before anyone makes any assumptions, it has nothing to do with my wonderful husband!  And it's probably too personal to talk about right now but maybe someday I'll share.  Regardless, it's just been tough.  I really believe that when Satan sees a weakness, or an opportunity to bring you down more than you already are, he will do just that.  In tough times, it's even more important to draw near to Him and that is not what I have done in the past weeks.  And I have been feeling it!  I absolutely have to regain my focus and rediscover the protection offered in the shelter of His love.  I was reminded of this twice in one week.  And not through two different bible verses but through one.  One verse that forced me to read it two different times, brought to me through two different channels, in one week.

This past Thursday, I had my monthly meeting with a group of women who have thoroughly blessed my life.  We meet to offer each other encouragement, hear a lesson in faith, and usually participate in some quirky activity to make us think outside of the box and bring us back to the basics in life.  The basics such as the simple act of being able to sit still.  And silent.  And be peaceful.  This principle was brought to us through a simple activity where the leader had each of us go to separate parts of the house, where we couldn't see each other, and just sit.  No noise.  No kids.  No demands.  Just silence.  I chose a seat in the hostess' dining room, facing a wall, where she had a nice arrangement of Christian memorabilia.  There it was, so perfectly embroidered on a cream colored, floral tapestry: "But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control."  Galatians 5:22-23  In my fiveish minutes of silence, I really meditated on this verse.  LOVE, JOY, PEACE, AND PATIENCE should be as much a part of my boy's days as I can possibly squeeze in them.  And I pray for children who don't know these four fruits in their day-to-day.  I should put forth more effort to make KINDNESS AND GOODNESS a way of life in my day-to-day interactions with all.  FAITHFULNESS will always be an integral part of my marriage but, GENTLENESS, I know my husband would appreciate more of.  SELF-CONTROL.  I simply must have more self control in multiple areas of my life!  Going into our five minutes of silence, I already knew this verse but probably could not have recited it perfectly.  But, when I left that dining room at the end of my five minutes, I intimately knew this verse in ways I won't forget.  And I made sure to read it in a way that I could apply to my life.

A few days later, as the boys and I prepared for nap time, we read a sweet, little, Christian book that had been passed down to us.  It was our first time to read it and I immediately knew the verses the book was based on.  Galatians 5:22-23.  The book walks the reader through each fruit and how that fruit can be applied to life.  At the end of the book, the verse was printed, "But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control."  I closed the book, said a little prayer, and put the boys down for a nap.  The coincidence of this verse coming to me twice in just a few days time was just overwhelming.  Of course, it's not "just coincidence"!

At that Thursday night ladies group, part of our discussion was about the Lord reminding us to just be still and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10).  How, if you let yourself wonder too far away from Him, He will make himself known once again, one way or another.  He will get your attention.  Be it a cream colored, floral tapestry on a friend's wall, or a child's book, He will get your attention when He needs it most.

"Okay!  Okay!  Open my heart to you.  Show me what I need to know right now.  Or have you already?  I'm listening."