Honoring a Hero

I have debated heavily about whether or not to blog about the events of the past week in Big Lake.  But, the reality is that this community has experienced something far beyond comprehension.  Two people are gone.  One is dancing with the angels in the most glorious place we believers will ever know.   The other is quite simply not.  It’s not appropriate for me to describe or even begin to understand where he is. He has met his maker, and he has been judged, by a judge much bigger than any earthly judges or jury.  His victim has the glory and honor of sitting in absolute brilliant perfection, with our Jesus, in peace, and surrounded by a love that is far greater than the hatred that spewed from this killer’s heart in the time he was here on Earth.   Josh is singing with the Angels in Heaven which, “shone with the glory of God, and its brilliance was like that of a very precious jewel, like a jasper, clear as crystal,” and that “Nothing impure will ever enter it, nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb’s book of life” (Rev 21: 11, 27).

I decided to proceed with some sort of post about this week for a few reasons.  TJ has many memories with Josh, especially those associated with the Sheriff's department.  At times, he has really struggled with the senseless death of a friend because Josh was so young.  It was hard for him to see his friend, who once was so full of life, now motionless.  He felt honored to stand guard over Josh for a few hours while he was in Big Lake, the night before the service.  He feels honored to have known such a fine person as Josh Mitchell.  I wanted to write these experiences down it because I want my boys to be able to read what a brave, remarkable man they have for a father.  I want them to know about the amazing Sheriff’s Department their father was honored to work for as a reserve deputy.  I want them to be able to know this story that no one would have ever expected to unfold in little Big Lake, Texas.   Also, many have asked us about this tragic event, and TJ’s involvement.  Friends and Family of ours who don’t live in Big Lake and know and love us and want to know the personal side of it, that the papers don't report.

Around 6:00pm on the evening of Wednesday, August 1st, TJ received a page from dispatch, notifying him of shots fired at 12th and Main.  As fate would have it, TJ received the page as he was on his way home from work, driving down 12th, approaching this intersection.   He saw Deputy Josh Mitchell’s patrol car in the alley, quickly parked his truck, he was then notified that Deputy Mitchell had been shot and was able to see that an ambulance was already at Josh’s side.  He grabbed his gun and headed toward the nearby community pool, where he instructed everyone at the pool to get inside.  He made his way back towards his truck and the area where the shots were fired.  He met up with Chief Deputy Jeff Weatherby and Captain Destin Wilha and provided cover for them while they searched for the suspect.   In this search, additional shots were fired at Chief Deputy Weatherby and Captain Wilha.  (We wouldn’t know until later how close this exchange came to injuring or killing another Deputy)  They retreated.  The suspect barricaded himself in his residence and the stand off ensued.  TJ stayed on the scene, along with hundreds of various law enforcement personnel, and continued to monitor the house, guns drawn, for hours.  Seventeen hours until the suspect was brought out to face hundreds of people waiting for him.  Seventeen hours for this community to finally see the bloody, stomach-turning face of a killer.  No one slept that night.  Not the deputies, not their wives, not Josh's family, not much of the community.  Despite killing one of their own, these officers had to respect the suspect and get him access to medical care, as his attempt to commit suicide had failed.  He received this care at the same hospital where his victim died.  The same hospital where his victim’s wife works as a nurse.  He was transferred to a hospital in San Angelo where he later died of his injuries.  

This was TJ’s story on August 1, 2012.   I cry because I realize how dangerous of a situation this really was.  Because, this cop-killer had no regard for any human life this day and he was prepared to kill anyone.  And TJ was there.  He was more in thick of it than I realized at the time.  I praise God for getting him home to us safely.  And, I praise God for protecting every single member of law enforcement that was there, especially Chief Deputy Weatherby and Captain Wilha, as they were fired upon, and the SWAT team that so bravely entered the suspect’s house.  This was TJ’s story on this day and he will never, ever forgot this experience.  And Sheriff Jeff Garner has a story of August 1st, 2012.  The EMTs who responded have a story.  Deputy Mitchell’s wife has a story.  This community has a story.  This community’s story on July 31, 2012 was a story of togetherness, happiness, simplicity, prosperity, busyness, honesty, compassion, hard work and love.  And, on August 1st, all of our stories were rewritten against our will.  Josh’s story ended.  Too soon.  Unfairly.  So incredibly senselessly.  His wife has to find a way to start a new story without him.  There are not words to properly express the sympathy I have in my heart for her and the rest of Josh’s family.  It’s just not something that will ever be forgotten.  I simply cannot wrap my head around the fact that one individual was able to cause so much pain, chaos and turmoil.

What an exhausting week this has been.  Watching my husband, all of the members of the Reagan County Sheriff’s Department, this sweet, little community, and Deputy Mitchell’s wife and family mourn the loss of one of their finest deputies has been the most….heart wrenching, unimaginably painful moments in my life.  I have felt a lot of pain before, losing people that I love.  But, their pain is very, very different not only because of the circumstances, but because of the life that should have been lived, but is so senselessly and selfishly lost forever.  Watching all of these people, each agonizing soul, mourn this death is just simply indescribable.  There are not words to properly illustrate the pain, the anger, the terror, the absolute sadness I see on their faces.  And to know the pain and chaos that must be raging in this young man’s wife’s heart just puts the biggest lump in my throat.  It makes me nauseous to think about it, actually.  Because, I think about my best friend, my love, my TJ and how hard it would be to sleep in an empty bed, knowing he would never return.  I can only imagine her pain. And she will be in our prayers for a long, long time.

Josh's life was celebrated yesterday, in a big way.  His services were simply amazing.  There is such an astounding level of respect, tradition, love and gratitude shown for the life of a community servant like Josh when that life is lost.  I pray I never have to see it again.  I was honored to participate in the services along with the wives of the other deputies and reserve deputies, and the sheriff's wife.  What a beautiful, remarkable set of women.  And how proud were are of our men!  The ceremonies at the park were by far the most moving of the day.  A bagpipe and drum band led the hearse into the park, the drums deeply pounding to the emotions of our hearts.  An officer solemnly standing by himself in a field by a waiting tent bellowed orders to the hundreds of law enforcement personnel in attendance.  They all slowly salute.  The Sheriff and his deputies followed the hearse and then gently, poignantly, carried their brother under the tent.  A twenty-one gun salute made every bone in our bodies crack with the fire of the guns.  It was chilling. Following the playing of Taps, a long period of very still silence surrounded us while the flag covering the casket was gingerly folded, each crease meticulously pleated to perfection.  The pipes played Amazing Grace as flags were presented.  And then the most moving part of the ceremony, the last call.  The hundreds in attendance heard dispatch call for 805.  Again, 805.  No response.  805 could only respond from Heaven.  Tears flowed from everyone as Sheriff Garner's voice cracked a poised, but pained, response to dispatch, "On my authority, retire badge number 805 and hold Deputy Josh Mitchell 10-42," and dispatch responded, retiring his badge.  It was hard to make out all of the words but no one missed the pain that was so evident in their voices.  A riderless horse, boots backwards in the stirrups, passed by the tent.  It was one of the saddest moments I have ever witnessed.  Jill told us that Josh deserved every bit of this, and I believe he did.  He loved his job and he died protecting our community.  He did deserve every single bit of it, Jill.        

We aren’t promised days without pain.  We are promised salvation.  And, by accepting Him into our lives, we are promised to again see our loved ones who also believed.  I know that doesn’t help the wounds heal any faster (and they don’t need to heal faster).  But once the wounds are healed, this promise makes bearing the scars somewhat easier.  The scars are the promise.  You will see him again.  You will.